Mother’s Day Wit and Whimsicality

flowersAhh, Mother’s Day and the beauty of motherhood.

I love good quotes, so I want to start by sharing with you two of my absolute favorite quotes about this all-important, sometimes exhausting role we fill as mothers:

“The woman who makes a sweet, beautiful home, filling it with love and prayer and purity, is doing something better than anything else her hands could find to do beneath the skies.” -J.R. Miller 

Talk about encouragement! Thank you for refreshing our view on priorities, J.R. Miller. And,

“My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.” -George Washington

This is simply beautiful. Very kind of you, Mr. President.

These two quotes hang above my washing machine, along with the good reminder from Proverbs 14:4, “Where there are no oxen, the trough is clean, but much increase comes by the strength of an ox.” I benefit from these encouragements as I toil with the often repetitive duties of raising a family. Not that I think of my kids as oxen, but you can probably see what it means – that kids make messes, but without messes, our family would be pretty….dull. Nonexistent.

Once in awhile a phrase pops into my mind and I quickly write it down, thinking it’ll be the next great mom-quote. Sometimes they’re inspiring, sometimes they’re funny, and sometimes they’re just corny.

Here is a collection of Mom Quotes by Yours Truly, Liz Boyle (I excluded the corniest) : 

When you have one child who is dairy-free, another who is gluten-free, another who is nut-free, and a husband who is carb-free, your cooking is flavor-free. 

As a mom, your proudest accomplishments are people. 

Moms know from experience how to remove ink from fabric (rubbing alcohol), how to loosen microwave gunk (nook lemon juice), and that slime in carpet is not good. Especially in your in-law’s carpet (who invented slime anyway?). 

When you hear the square-footage of a house, your first thought is an estimation of how much time it would take to clean. 

The volume in a bowl of Cheerios greatly increases when spilled on the floor. 

When your first baby meets milestones, you feel certain that he/she is a prodigy. You fully expect Stanford, a Nobel Prize and the Olympics to be in the future. When your second baby arrives, your daily prayer has switched from finding the right Olympic trainer to mere survival. The third baby is corrupt before turning one. 

The triple-value rolls of toilet paper really do have more toilet paper. This becomes especially apparent while re-rolling the heap of toddler fun. 

Grocery shopping with little ones ought to be an Olympic event, judged primarily on the patience of the parent. 

A family’s facial tissue consumption increases by about 150% for every child. 

True bravery is navigating a supercenter with a long shopping list and several children. 

A handful of dandelions is the most heartwarming bouquet to receive. 

On the days when you find yourself counting down the hours until naptime, be careful that you don’t miss the subtle moments of wonder. 

Someday not so far into the future, you’ll wish for just a minute to have Cheerios stuck to your feet and drool on your shoulder.

When your baby begins toddling and climbing, you can actually feel the gray hairs sprouting. When your big kid wants to cross the street alone, you might as well go in for a blood-pressure check. 

Part of being a parent is making at least six PB&J sandwiches per day, not a single one for yourself. 

Life with a new baby can be uncertain at times. If you don’t have time to eat, sleep or use the restroom, you’re probably doing everything right. 

Embrace the era when, according to a mathematician or engineer, your lap is not big enough to hold all who want to be held by you. 

I received the FluMist vaccine from my own child whose sneeze flew directly into my nose. Should be very effective. 

One sign of a fun activity is when at least 75% of the family needs a bath before noon. 

After having her hair pulled, her eyeball poked and her cheek bitten, a mom will still smile and say, “What a nice kiss, Baby!”

Remember what it felt like to be bored? Me neither. 

A mom can perform most daily tasks, at least somewhat proficiently, which just one hand. 

So there you have them. I truly hope that something in this post can encourage you through an exasperating moment, inspire you to try again tomorrow, or make you laugh when you might otherwise cry.

I’d love for you to post your favorite motherhood quotes in the comments below. And remember, read a book to your kids every chance you can 😉

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